I have heard several people talking about their forthcoming ordinations and have been struck by their surprise about the emotion involved. Of course its emotional. The notion that we have been called by God to His service is exciting but its also daunting! We wonder how on earth we could ever match up to what seems to be required of us and are feeling a little bit underwhelmed and frightened.
On my ordination retreat we were a group of people who didn't know each other well and it took a couple of days of silence to realise that we were all going through a similar process.
Self doubt is a prelude to self knowledge and its important to know ourselves as well as possible. To recognise those character traits which are not the natural attribute for a priest, to be aware of the serious mistakes we have made in life so that they can be laid to rest is part of the process.
All this takes time...there's no quick way through this process...but its worth it. Once you've admitted that there are things you should have done differently and that you are not perfect then you can grow and travel the path that you were called to in confidence.
I came late to the priesthood and it was the most natural thing in the world to weep as I approached the big day. The realisation of a calling that started in my teens and only came to fruition in old age is emotional....
I have never regretted it. It has made me the happy woman I am today..I am able to use all the talents I have acquired in teaching and other sorts of work.... Thank you God.
2 comments:
I wept at my deaconing and at my priesthood - and that is as one unaccustomed to crying at all. It was the magnitude I think - that sense of doing something so special and once-only.
In the event I am ever licensed / installed / instituted, I am sure I will do the same!
A good post to have read this week - this week is special enough, but ordination had added a layer of light and colour to my every experience of it! Thank you
I can remember being absolutely terrified as well as excited as my deaconing approached. I was in my early 40s and this was something I couldn't have imagined 10 years before. I had to wait eight and half years to be priested and the emotions I remember then were overwhelming joy and gratitude that it was at last possible.
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