Friday, 29 April 2011

Where was the joy?

It was a new experience this morning watching and twittering at the same time. I became aware of this peculiarity last year at election time but I was not then really into twittering as away of communication. This morning was very was a conversation between people I only know on Twitter apart from a small select group. But it was very interesting how our reactions differed according to our convictions or lack of them.  The grumpy, critical ones were  in the minority and the clergy were all sharing notes.
I loved watching the wedding and equally I enjoyed the comments coming through from every angle.
The music was lovely with specially written pieces and sung by a really good choir. The words were almost familiar but not quite. It was a BCP service from 1928 I believe and it wasn't the really archaic language used in the old Prayer Book which is  the one I got married by almost 6 years ago.
I am  loathe to admit this but I did say "Obey" I hadn't said it the first time when Bill Vanstone married me...being still a stroppy young thing but this time when my friend Julia arrived to marry us I actually wanted to say "Obey" believing that it put the onus on the husband not to ask anything difficult of me. And of course he never has.
The thing that was missing from all of it this morning was the joy. Weddings are of course solemn undertakings but they are also moment of huge joy and  of love for each other. Love should be apparent not just with the bride and groom but the parents, the siblings, the extended families.  Some trepidation about what lies ahead is natural but the overwhelming emotion should I think be joy, happiness, delight in each other and the commitment you are making.  I try to fill all the weddings that I conduct with this emotion,   and if its lacking I have failed.
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