Sunday, 19 June 2011

Happy fathers day? Not

Spare a thought today for all those, for whom Father's Day has a very empty ring to it. Fathers are not all good news. My generation for instance had missing fathers. Mine was in the army. By the time he came home for good he was a stranger. This was not his fault. There was a war on. But the relationship between us never grew into a loving one.
He failed to get a job that he wanted and instead worked long hours breaking up pig iron in a foundry.
After working in heat all day he needed a drink. End of story really. The stranger became an abusive, intolerant person who seemed to be always drunk.
My brother, my mother and myself spent years in fear of this man. His mood swings were dramatic. And if he had no money for drink he would raid our piggy banks, our purses or take our things to sell.
I wish I could celebrate a loving relationship with my father but I can't and I know there are many others who are in the same boat.
When my father finally killed himself he did us all a massive favor.
RIP dad. And I really do mean that. I hope he really is at peace now. My brother and mother are both dead and I am a happy fulfilled woman. I just can't remember him with any affection even though I can see how and why it all happened.
For all the others who have had similar experiences I salute you and hope the healing process is at work in you as it is in me.

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