I am once again worrying about my dog. Having survived an operation for cancer this time last year he is once again struggling. Bless him he will be 14 in September which is a good age for such a heavy dog. And that's part of the problem. He is roughly twice as big as my last golden retriever and I can't pick him up. Even with help from my husband it's not easy.
As a puppy he looked after his " brother" by cleaning out his eyes and ears and pushing him onto his feet when he was having a lie in.
Some lumps have returned which I was expecting but he has also now got a cataract on one eye which is growing very fast.
Getting him to the vet is in itself a problem and he's perfectly happy around the house and garden.
He has got to the stage where he wants to be near one of us and goes to look for us if we go missing.
After the last operation I swore it to be the last. I know he could have the cataract removed but I am reluctant to put him through that again.
He's not in pain. He's not worrying the eye. He's eating well and sleeping for Britain.
I give him a pain killer for arthritis every morning and am satisfied that he's in no pain.
We have lots of visitors and he greets everyone with goodwill and much tail wagging.
I don't want to get to the stage where it feels selfish to keep him alive and I know that quite soon he will only have vision in one eye. So I am praying. As always I pray for the best possible outcome. For him mostly but also for us.
It makes it worse knowing that we will never have another dog. That would be too selfish so I am hanging on to the one we've got for as long as possible.
God be kind. He's such a good dog.
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