Tuesday, 21 August 2012

Slug domination...a flight of fancy?

Following reports from all over this land yesterday I can report that the slugs are on the move.

Slugs everywhere are revolting.......they have found a leader who will bring them together to fight for their rights.. Cove says leave it to him...it will all turn out for the best in the end.

In their large congregations they congratulate each other on the progress they have already made....gardens have been stripped of vegetation and they have moved on in ever growing numbers . Their plan? To rule of course...and to eat anything that blocks their progress. .

Nature has been kind to them...they already come in a multitude of colours thus easily blending into the background when the hunters are out......orange, grey, black and all variations on that theme already exist.They have natural camaflage.

They have joined forces with the snails of course but this is a short relationship....once they have taken over their shells the weaker, more fragile crustateans will be dropped...preferably where the thrushes can pick them off....

"Slugs are the champions " this is their battle cry as they ooze from gardens, to fields to hill sides , ever onwards in their quest for domination.

Their leader is secure in his assurance that whatever happens they will not go short of greenery to eat.

"We have to find ways of preventing the men who cut down our grass, where ever possible....gum up their killing machines...with our own bodies if necessary. The weak hearted and the frail bodied need not apply. .this is a job for real slugs....."

"Make no mistake" Cove announced. "We shall be castigated, spat on and generally traduced for this our intention to rule the green world but our natural talents will overcome in all but the most desperate cases...even the strange woman who throws us over her hedge onto the road beyond little knows that this is our way to expand even more....by sticking ourselves onto the wheels of the visitors we shall soon gain access to the large cities all over this once green land"

A small brown slug heard these things and dared to question. .

" Please sir....what if we succeed so well we eat up everything? Will we not starve?"

"No lad" said Cove just a little pompously. " I have an even greater plan, all ready to put into action....we shall take over the playing fields of this country...there are many these attached to those large buildings which house the offspring of the enemy. We shall quite simply take them over...they will be our shining glory and give us food for all......now lads...to your duty...get out there and eat....everything in your path...eat lads and world domination shall be ours."

No comments:

Post a Comment