Since David was diagnosed with a brain tumour we have tried very hard to keep everything normal...we have stayed with our routines , eaten well enjoyed food, worn the same clothes for the same occasions.
We know everything is not normal....he knows that only too well but we are not ever going to start feeling sorry for ourselves.
This dark emotion engulfed me as a young woman. I did indulge in self pity some of the time until one day I caught myself at it!
Why did I have to have an alcoholic father? Why me Lord? Why did I have no one to give me nice presents when all my friends did? Why was I always the worst dressed at any outing?
The list was long and very self indulgent and one day I heard myself moaning...I realised how very unattractive it made me to be always banging on about all the things I had not got, had never had!
It was as sudden a revelation as I can remember. I realised that far from feeling sorry for me the friends, acquaintances, relations who heard my misery must be just totally fed up with me.
That moment of self realisation changed my life....every time after that I stopped dead if the faintest hint of self pity crept into my thoughts or when I was talking to people.
Self pity is an ugly emotion...if life gets hard and it does for us all at times we just have to get on with it....
As I help David into the clothes I've laid out for him I am genuinely thankful. Here is a man I love who needs my help....it is a privilege to be in this position....never a chore.