Friday, 17 January 2014

We are but sheep.

I did sleep.....but although I was very tired indeed, sleep did not come easily last night. The speed at which things are happening are frightening! And bewildering.

David is safely back in the nursing home, supposedly for a week but somehow a care plan is now available next week and the latest news was that he would be brought home on Monday providing the mobility chair has been installed.

Somehow I seem to have lost any control over events....I simply wait for the next thing to be decided!

Our home is now rearranged. The bed has been pushed against the wall to make a run for the wheel chair!

The ancient yew chest on the landing now stands in front of the Chinese lacquer drinks cabinet! One settee is pushed again a long window to make room for the new chair. All the rugs have been rolled up and lie behind it!

The spare room, now a camp kitchen is heaped with discarded items from every other room!

In short, life is never going to be the same again...

This is something I can live with if it makes a comfortable safe place for David to come back to........

Yesterday so many people arrived, or rang or organised a detail someone else had fixed that by the end sheer exhaustion took hold.

We went into the barn to look for a chair at one point and found our own things were impossible to reach through the mass of junk in front of them.

It's not a nightmare because good things are happening all the time but it is taking on the sort of grim inevitability of being out of control and being buffeted by events that characterise bad dreams.....

Yesterday when I was at my lowest point my darling David grabbed my shoulders and spoke remarkable words.

"God, your God and mine is leading us now. We are in His hands and He will guide us through. Don't lose faith in Him now please"

I will try not to.

1 comment:

  1. Sorry Jean, I've only just seen this. How mortifying to feel out of control of events, but David has given you the words of courage himself, which I find powerful and reassuring and an expression of his faith and love for both God and for you.

    [*] and {{{Hugs}}} continue as ever.

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