Tuesday, 11 February 2014

Appalling everything!

I suppose the number of things to be arranged after a death is actually a good thing....because it takes your mind away from the gaping hole in your life....

I do seem to have more than the usual number though.....

Quite apart from all the things needing to be put in place for the funeral ....all sorts of other things are currently demanding attention.

There is still no joy at all on the heating front...I have two electric heaters running all the time but got up to turn them off last night when a huge clap of thunder sounded just outside my window!

The electricity only went off briefly but of course disrupted anything I'd set!

Five am saw me looking at the flashing lights and getting up to turn the heaters back on! It's very cold now!

This run of bad luck can surely not go on for much longer.....

Once again wind and rain are making their presence felt.....

The simple process of registering a death has now become a highly complicated process and there are just five days to do it in. So don't die early on Saturday morning....death certificates, issued by the doctor have to wait two days at least!

Many good things are happening. Flowers are arriving and they will last much longer than usual due to the fact they are in a very cold house! Old friends are getting in touch especially those who have lost people in similar circumstances...

I am hoping the boiler will be fixed this morning...that would be a great relief....the funeral arrangements are under way...but some details have got to be attended to...

My first shop as a single woman will arrive this morning . A lot of ready dinners for one . I have gone back to waĆ·s learned after the first David died...cooking is largely irrelevant as is eating...but I am making myself eat and the pretend Aga is the only hot spot in the house so the kitchen is turning into the meeting place....I am thinking of putting a chair next to the cooker.

Many people are much worse off than me.... I do know that but I hear the sound of great wind walloping us yet again and wonder where it will all end!


  1. Oh poor dear Jean.
    The main affect of the 'Grand Slam' of the death of your partner is that every other problem becomes an Everest to be climbed.
    That is not to say that your present mountain of difficulties, in particular the lack of heating, are not pretty overwhelming. It's just that at another time you would be able to shrug at least some of them off.
    Can you rope some of your closer friends in to help?
    Knowing you the fact that so many people are having problems with flooding etc will not make your situation any easier, in fact it adds to the load in some ways.
    Try to shut out what you cannot do anything to help and concentrate on yourself.
    However alien to your way of thinking, please put yourself first. This is the time to be totally selfish.
    Useless comments I know, but made with love and concern for you.

    1. Bless you Ray for that....my friends are turning up to help as are David's sons...but getting the heating fixed needs an expert and they are all very busy right now...hopefully an engineer will turn up this morning!
      Dreadful winds are now hurling stuff around outside though...I may be waiting a long time!

  2. Jean, Oh Jean,

    It's so sad to have to cope with all of the difficulties while trying to grieve trying to find peace and it's proving so elusive. I really hope that the heating can be sorted and that the weather doesn't impact to much on the necessary things that you need to do, which you are having to do alone.

    Ray is quiet right - your priority has to be your own health and where help is offered and available and appropriate, take advantage off it. You are living again as a single woman but your friends and all who love you are alongside you - praying and hoping so much that you are safe, keep well and are given the space that you need to grieve for David.

    {{{Hugs}}} and Prayers continue.

  3. keep up the blog Jean as it's the way I keep in touch with you I do fret about you, we go back such a long way and most of it at a distance, But be assured our thoughts are with you constantly. xx