The mass of paper lying around Davids office has been filed into various small piles....it's now time to tackle the rest of the house but here lie traps...
Every garment, key ring, hair brush tells it's own tale...
Unpacking the small bag I brought home from the nursing home was full of pain. The things I bought David for Christmas and then his birthday are largely unused...his new cardigan was only worn once draped around his shoulders...
The rest of his clothes can all wait......there are too many tears living in wait there.
Instead last night I just remembered....we had wonderful years after the curate married the church warden and we ran the interregnum together....
We could only go away for a week , two at the most but we enjoyed our holidays in Cyprus, Majorca and Madeira...sitting in the sun with a glass of sangria to hand and I have lots of photos to prove it.
The last five years of cruising with Cunard were simply wonderful...visiting places that were only names in travel books....
David left me with the best possible memories. We met many people from different backgrounds and found that human beings are much the same in any language...I am still in touch with a lot of them and am grateful for their condolences...
I know there is danger in living in the past but right now it's a happier place than the present...and it puts off the sorting out process!
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2 comments:
Enjoy your memories, painful though they be. Sorting and disposing can wait until you have reached a different level.
Laugh over the good ones, cry over the sad ones, yes all by yourself.
I still have the occasional weep or secret smile when some article moved out of the way while I'm sorting through 'stuff'' reminds me of silly, personal events in the life we had.
Anything which gives you comfort should be nurtured.
Bereavement produces all sort of strange behaviours, all perfectly valid.
I kept, and still wear in winter, the huge soft microfleece dressing gown I bought John in his last illness. He loved it and so do I.
The fact that he was 6'4'' and I am 5'5'' makes not a jot of difference.
Love and prayers X
Love and prayers continue here as well!
Talking about our loved ones living or departed is keeping their memories alive and vibrant. Reminders of happiness and joy shared are precious and I see nothing wrong in revisiting them - they're a support for you as you contemplate dealing with so much.
It will be painful, but just to remind you that there's dozens of us thinking of you and praying all of the time.
God Bless and may his peace be with you at a most painful time.
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