My diary has started to fill up! Slowly, quietly real life is beckoning and I am able to respond. Yesterday one of David's grandsons became a father. Tomorrow I go out to lunch with a very old friend before she moves away. I have my church rota through till December .
I now need to work, to get some structure back into my life, to prepare for services, to write sermons again, to start to love again. In my journey through David's papers I found a draft of a letter he'd written about me. It said I radiated happiness and love! I of course wept when I read it. No one could have accused me of that in the last months....
But I am now ready to give it a shot...to love is to be the people we are meant to be.
I have sorted out a lot of daily problems around the house and garden. I am now enjoying the good weather and the garden...and the realisation of how much there is to be grateful for.
The words of a children's song are following me around..."One more step into the world I go .one more step into the world we go. From the old life to the new, I go travelling along with you."
That's a rough paraphrase but you get the message. The "you" in this case is two fold....David and God. Both are with me as I sort out my new life, starting today!