Saturday, 5 July 2014

Last stage of bereavement. .

My sleep patterns have reversed themselves in the last few weeks. From waking up in the early hours primed and ready to go I am now struggling to get my eyes open at eight o'clock!

I suppose I am going to bed very late again...a pattern evolved after I lost the first David ...

The stages of bereavement are familiar to me now and I am slowly working my through them yet again.

I barely ate in the weeks that David was in the nursing home...

This pattern continued for months....Last week in Madeira my appetite was still not back and if I ate in the restaurant I had trained them not to expect me to cope with the three courses on offer..I usually managed the starter followed by fruit.

Yesterday I was hungry.....the first time for a very long time....actually hungry!

I didn't really eat all that much but my sausages and bacon supper was huge compared to previous meals!

I now know I am on my way back...

My clothes hang loosely but I am far from skeletal.

I am still chatting to both David and my son as I walk around the house and garden....that stage may last years...I need to use my voice after all!

Tears still spring into my eyes as I thank both them and God for all the gifts I have all around me...But I am now ready...I start work again tomorrow...very very slowly...I have a busy diary once again and welcome the start of a new period of getting around the parishes....

I am taking the car out for a drive most mornings to make sure it will start when it's needed!

Thank you God and to all the people who have prayed for my recovery I thank you from the bottom of my, it's breakfast time!

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