Thursday, 28 August 2014

Aged.

In the face of so much bad news from this country as well as world wide angst I was taken out for the day yesterday. We visited the Duchy Nursery which is about an hours drive away from here. We had coffee on arrival and set off to look at the plants.
Wonderful flowering plants drew us further in and I collected a trolley! After an hour I realised how tired I was....
We put the plants into the car and went back to look at the very well stocked shop. I had been told the previous week that I had to buy the blue gin on sale there. It's blue because some lavender and other herbs  from Highgrove had been added to the mix! So I bought some!
I  then realised that I was exhausted....doing something I had always enjoyed doing, shopping had tired me out!
Feeling stupidly frail I came home and slumped onto my sofa where I slept for an hour!
For the first time I faced the knowledge .....I am now an old woman....
If I've got to the stage where walking around a lovely display of plants tires me out then I can no longer pretend to myself that I'm not really old....the evidence is building up....I am.
Last night I had a blue gin and tonic....it's very strong....ahem!
Today I will place the new plants where I want them...someone else will put them in...
I don't mind being an old woman....it's better than the alternative obviously but months of pain and anxiety have taken their toll.
I will get out more. I have clearly spent too much time on my own of late which suited me mentally but obviously not physically...
I can't turn the clock back but I can fight back. The problem is of course that I enjoy my solitude far too much...but lacking a dog to tug me out I will have to get myself moving more often...starting this weekend as I walk down the meadow to look at the Tall ships.... I can do this!
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