Wednesday 24 December 2014

Not Christmas

I have settled down now...I have made friends, met a couple of old ones, and I know I can do it...
Yesterday we had the miracle of feeling the sun on our faces as we were able to sit on deck for the first time.

For the first few days I stuck to the routines established with David on our trips. Now though encouraged by the people on my table at suppertime I am exploring new places and activities..

Occasionally something catches me unawares...and I fight back the tears. This morning at breakfast a doctor was talking about dementia and how it was often confused with the symptoms of brain tumour...he looked at me and realised...no need for me to speak..he got it.

Whatever Christmas Day brings it is taking my mind off last Christmas which was simply hell on earth...I did however wake up weeping this morning...I am not aware of what triggered it but the tears were real as is the grief... I am
mourning for my babies too. One step forward, several backwards right now! I shall take a big hanky to the interdenominational service on Christmas morning.




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

3 comments:

PixieMum said...

With best wishes for Christmas, thank you for the gift of your blogs throughout the year

Babs said...

My first Christmas without my lovely Ron in 60 years. I know I am so lucky but I feel so lonely.

Revjeanrolt said...

Babs, my heart aches for you...but it does get better. Time helps but so does the love of family and friends.
I am carrying David around the boat with me....and talking to him in my heart....