Tuesday, 28 April 2015

Hypochondria in reverse.

When I was a young woman I had a tendency to hypochondria....the saving grace was that I recognised it In myself .

I had pre eclampsia twice in pregnancy and having delivered my babies I found myself imagining dire consequences for all sorts of minor ailments...a small headache could mean a stroke! A chest pain always meant a heart condition.

An ache in my big toe......No never that but you get the drift. I have moved house and doctor more times than anyone else I know but have been in good health most of my life since pregnancy apart from losing an appendix and a womb along the way.

I have sailed into old age with few thoughts about the aging process or anything else...up to now I have just got on with what ever was asked of me!

Now I am experiencing something completely different. Since seeing my husband's terminal illness progress I have become an anti hypochondriac....if there is a word for it I don't know it!

I have avoided seeing the doctor until I got called in...I just didn't want to know. Having had blood taken yesterday I find I am reluctant to ring in after a couple of days for any results...I don't want to know if anything is wrong...

I have left my Do Not Resucitate letter with anyone who might need it...but really I can think of nothing that I could have that would be good news....I prefer the head buried in the sand treatment from now on...

It's not that I want to die....I am fine..I am healthy I think .I just don't want all the fuss involved in trailing backwards and forwards to hospitals, clinics etc... I am as far as I know well right now so I am happy to let God make all the important desicions in the last decade of my life....so be it Lord......


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