Today is the day Parliament has to make a decision as to whether we are going to bomb Syria. I am glad not to be part of that process because the sad truth is that I still don't know!
I have listened to all the arguments on the radio and the television. I still remain to be convinced either way! Gong to war with something so indiscriminate as a bombing campaign seems brutal in the extreme and the people it will affect most are the innocent whose homes and way of life will be destroyed.
To call anyone who is against bombing a terrorist sympathiser is just crass...it is to doubt any humanitarian or Christian motive in those who are examining their consciences.
I remain unconvinced that bombing will do any real harm to IS. It seems obvious that it will only strengthen their determination to build a Muslin caliphate. But I also want to wipe the brutality off the face of the earth!
So we can't have it both ways....sending in ground troops seems the best way but that as we saw in trench warfare in the past is very hard on the young people involved and I couldn't easily live with that either.
I am an unconvinced spectator of all this horror...I will be listening to the debates today....and praying that the political arguments in the Commons don't descend into bullying, unpleasant jibes against people who stick to their principles in the face of massive criticism.
There is no easy way through all this and I am conscious that here tucked away in rural Cornwall we are all living the equivalent of the lotus eater.
As a fully paid up eater of the lotus all I can do is pray. That the decision being made today, to bomb or not to bomb is made by people of principle who have thought through the whole thing and listened to every side of the argument.
Once more Lord, hear our prayer! And let our cry come onto Thee!