Friday 29 July 2016

Hard lesson.

Once more I am lost. It's my fault . I should have learned. I did learn the hardest way possible in my previous life but somehow the lesson learned didn't stay in place. I met a lovely man.
The simple truth is that we fell in love. Against all the odds I met a man I loved dearly.
I am clearly destined to end my life alone. I see that now so I can do this. But Michael and I had wrapped our lives around each other.
We talked every day, several times a day on the phone. We followed all the breaking news stories, seldom agreeing on anything but never fell out.
We cruised together in great joy and harmony. We visited each other's homes when we were not out and about.
We made our plans to fit in with each other . We were careful of each other's feelings and shared everything.
He it was who booked our next cruise whilst I was out, taking a service. He was delighted to have found one that he knew we would both enjoy. "Separate cabins" he announced...."But next to each other"
He died yesterday.
So I am back to trudging around the house and garden....it's a path I take far too often!
Since writing that small things have restored some of my faith.
A bunch of flowers on my door step, some gingerbread in a packet...kind messages...
I've walked this path, carrying my grief before, too often...but I am grateful for the kind words...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

5 comments:

Pat C said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you x

Ray Barnes said...

I'm so sorry that you're new companion has been snatched away so soon.
Try if you can to be happy for the time you shared (however brief), pray and be strong.
You are a very strong woman Jean and you can and will come through this latest trial in one piece.
My prayers and thoughts and love are with you.

Rat Bites said...

So very sorry: this is one possible ending I worried about when your posts made it so apparent you had found a friend and a blessing. You are, as you have been for long, in my prayers.
The lesson is not to hold back from love because it hurts (and o Lord it does!) but know that it has its time - how many Saints must have only met and loved each other in the condemned cell? And we are all there in the end.
May you be comforted and weep your fill - our Lord wept for his friend even though about to raise him x

Revjeanrolt said...

That's very beautiful.....thank you so much!

UKViewer said...

Having missed a number of blog posts, I feel that I have let you down by not responding sooner.

Losing Michael so soon after meeting him is a very hard cross to bear - I can't imagine what you are going through, but my heart is sore for you. Prayers and love winging your way.