I wept yesterday when I heard the news of the priest being killed as he was at the altar in France.
He was an old man killed by a young one.
My tears, heartfelt, were useless and self indulgent. But that was all I had.
Too often over the last years I have shed tears for the people I have loved. I shed them now for a dear friend who had a stroke yesterday .
Life when you approach your own final curtain is I suppose bound to be spent mourning those loved ones who have gone before you.
After all the deaths of my loved ones I have refused to have any pets. All my life I have had dogs but not any more. They are hostages to fortune. But I still have much loved friends.
I should be more careful with my affections now more than ever but as I wait to see if my friend has survived the night I realise that once again, I am at the mercy of my own emotion.
Listening this morning to those on the radio talking about the killing of a priest I hear anger in the voices as well as sorrow.
Bewilderment , disbelief, sorrow, tears and anger. They all have their place in the grieving process. Christians the world over mourn today.
But somehow a way to deal with the emotional reaction has to be found. Once again all I can offer is prayer...
I pray for my friend, and for the world.
Please God, hear my prayers. Let all the prayers in the world rise together and reach the ears of our God. One God, many names but one God.
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2 comments:
Many names but one God hear our prayer and have mercy on us all.
Being vulnerable to our emotions is part of being human, learning to control them is quite difficult.
I spent many years pushing my emotions to the back, suppressing feelings, which is even more dangerous. But a sequence of bereavements, particularly that of my father, broke the barriers down and I allowed them to be expressed, but I lost my faith during the process.
I thought that I had got it all back together, and was relatively stable until I dealt with the death of a soldier in Afghanistan,when the sheer weight of supporting 12 family members through the whole process of repatriation, funeral and than a memorial service showed that my vulnerability was there - I could have wept with them, but couldn't. I had to go away and do it in private. Being strong for them, was necessary.
But the process highlighted their strong Christian faith and my lack of any. God came into my life with a vengeance at that time - and somehow his grace held me together.
Now, I am susceptible to my emotions and can be moved to tears by the simplest thing - so your experience is shared by me, and no doubt many others. We care about others,so what happens to them, will involve our emotions and weeping is perhaps a safety valve for us - if only we could recognise it.
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