As I prepared for todays service I ran my mind briefly over the weeks events...
It's not the same church where I got heckled last Sunday...but it's not far away!
Ok. Deep breath!
The words of one of my oldest friends came back to me as I sorted out the readings, collects etc.
I had emailed her to explain my absence from many of the social events and my recurring misery.
Her mail came back almost straight away,
" Jean you really need to have a word with God. He's defnately picking on you"
This would have made me laugh in happier times but right now it hit the spot.
Having lost almost all of my dear ones in the last years it is beginning to feel personal...and I have to admit that my faith has been stretched almost to the limit .....I think.
I had joked with this same friend at one point that I couldn't have another dog. It would be yet another hostage to fortune...
So here I am trying to get my head in roughly the right place...no one ever said it would be easy but I do feel that I am being tried!
The only comfort in this is that I am still addressing God, often sternly on the lines of asking Him what He wants of me......
No wonder He doesn't reply!
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