Wednesday, 10 August 2016

Pink gin.

So be it. I am obviously meant to spend most of my remaining days on my own. I can do this if I have to....
Yesterday I drove to St Just and sat alone in the lady chapel where I did Michaels funeral. His body wasn't there but he was.
I lit a candle for him and said the prayers of the funeral service with some Celtic extras...
He had said several times that he wanted me to do his funeral but hadn't lived long enough to explain this to his family so , not wanting either to intrude or embarrass I did it on my own in the most beautiful of churches.
The tide was in, water filled the creek, the sun shone and I wept as I prayed.
Coming home afterwards I remembered what his family had said to me....that they would sit outside in his lovely garden looking down to the sea and drink pink gin in his memory....so that's what I did...I remembered how he made his pink gins with five drops of Angustura bitters only and I then drank two...after which I was unfit to drive anywhere. He would have laughed at this...
We had spent so much of our time laughing together that even between the tears I was laughing...
I have said my goodbyes , I have drunk my cup, and now I can start to pack.
Michael booked the next cruise one day when I was in church...he had thought it all out...we were going together and he had so much to show me.....
Here in my house we had looked at the itinerary together, booked our excursions , planned the whole thing...
I am going. He will come with me in spirit. I have sobered up now...


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