Wednesday 18 October 2017

Wrong body?

Ok.....let me try very hard to address the issue I've just been hearing about on radio 4. Transgender issues have never been discussed so openly before and that they now are can only be a good thing. But this mornings debate has opened up some forgotten issues.
I was once engaged to a man who genuinely believed himself to be a woman trapped in the wrong body.
We met during the rehearsals for a pantomime put on by the dramatic society I was involved with.
He came to talk whilst he wore his costume as an ugly sister...he was animated and interesting and I enjoyed our daft conversations a lot. The whole story would take too long to relate but when he invited me out I went and we got engaged fairly quickly.
I realised after a while that his only attempts at being amorous were when he was wearing something female. Eventually it became clear.
He genuinely believed he was a woman trapped in a male body. Our conversations were long and heart felt. His relief at finding someone he could talk openly to was touching...
It was when we got to the next stage that doubts began for me. He really wanted surgery...and got excited when it was discussed.
I was genuinely very fond of this man...but realised a little belatedly that I couldn't go through with it. I wanted children. He wanted that bit of himself to be chopped off!
The discussions around this subject were detailed and heartfelt but I realised that I was being dragged into a situation totally beyond my control...
I didn't marry him. And he is now dead but all the conversations this morning were heart achingly familiar.
I am glad there is now recognition that this is a real problem and that many young people have found acceptance within their families...but I am also glad that I had the sense to get out of this relationship before it took over my life.
I wish all the people I heard about this morning well. But this was not for me and I'm glad that it became obvious before it was too late.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

1 comment:

UKViewer said...

Perhaps it's the same for people who are gay,but have not come out. Some marry only to realise that they are conforming to a norm, expected by society. And perhaps have relationships in secret, betraying their marriage vows.

Than, at some stage, the bubble bursts and marriages, some involving children are damaged beyond repair.

In these days, people are more enlightened and those who are different are free to announce and to live out their differences, even down to same sex marriage.

How many thousands though were persecuted for those differences, taken to court and given a criminal record. All men, as the law didn't recognise that women might also have same-sex urges. Perhaps another example of the male, patriarchal attitude towards women, as they held the power and made the laws.

I can remember the stigma that still attaches to same sex relations of trans people in some quarters. Perhaps it'st time to thank God that he has at least given us some more enlightened views to stop such persecution.