Sunday 27 May 2018

Old age blues.

I am an old woman. I’m not getting old, I am old.
This has altered some of my life choices.....I no longer drive off to Truro to shop. If I have to go far I take a taxi.
I am told that I don’t look my age for which I am thankful. I can still walk quite well, though long hikes over the hills and across very long beaches are either hard work or just not done.
My life style is much the same as it was five years ago...I still miss my husband every day but I can get up the stairs without using the chair lift which was put in for David. It now carries anything heavy up and down for me.
My faculties seem fine, I can see, hear and think quite well.
I don’t look decrepit I’m told and I don’t feel it either so I am very fortunate.
There are things I can’t do. Reaching various switches which require a step ladder have to wait till an unsuspecting visitor arrives.
I recently had some of these switches lowered so that I no longer risk life and limb getting my electricity back on after it fails.
I am not frail. My brain still functions but I am now aware that the time is coming when I have to stop doing things.
Which things I have not yet decided but the crunch time can’t be far away now I think.
Slowly slowly I will give up various things....not going to meetings will be easy!
Each small decision will be pondered...but I am realising more each day that life can not go on indefinitely, not life as I know it anyway.
All I can do day by day is enjoy my life...and I do.
Losing all my loved ones along the way is the worst ingredient of old age for me.
I have to rely on good friends and colleagues when I fail...or find I can’t do what I’ve always been able to do.
This blog will be my road map....when I get to the stage of giving it up you will know that I’m no longer breathing....but for now I can still huff and puff....
Thank you God.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

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