Monday, 20 November 2017

World angst!

All our world leaders seem to be having a tough time right now.
What is happening in Zimbabwe is both scary and pathetic. Mugabe is refusing to go!
Trump faces hostile polls and tries to get rid of those against him.
Merkel seems to be in trouble.
A non politician is now the president of France.
Here at home May struggles.
The common thread for all of these countries is that us, the people are fed up!
Our politicians seem to be failing us...but I suspect the problems world wide are beyond solving easily.
Now should be the time to turn to God. But. The opposite of that is what is happening. God is now the source of much anger.
There appears to be several Gods in a brief look at the news but of course one God has lots of different names.
In a decade we have seen terrible acts justified by religious zealots and somehow we are all infected by fear and distrust of our leaders...
If things are going wrong there has to be someone to blame...and our leaders are held responsible for everything .......obviously, it has to be someone's fault. Time for prayer....again!

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Sunday, 19 November 2017

Beautiful girl.

A quick swipe through the news on my iPad this morning whilst I was still in bed brought some bad memories to the fore....I spent some time reading the rest of the news , Trump's silence on the subject of sex pests speaks volumes, the Zimbabwe news of crowds on the streets, snow forecasts for Britain , they all paled into insignificance at the sight of the lovely blonde girl called Gaia.
She looks so much like my daughter Rosalind that it hurt.
Trying to push the unwelcome memories to the back of my mind didn't work too well, there she was on every news channel, now presumed dead.
Rosalind died about ten years ago.
She rang me up one night to say she had the worst case of flu she'd ever had.
Two days later I got a call from a hospital telling me she had died.
It took several weeks before a postmortem confirmed that she'd died of meningitis.
I think about her very often, something , music usually catches her essence, and memories flood back.
She was beautiful and talented and the picture of another girl has jolted me into memories I'd rather not have right now.
I hope the parents of Gaia find strength to get them through the next weeks and years.
Dealing with a death from natural causes is hard but not the agony of knowing that another human being caused her death. That must be appalling.
I pray for them as the law takes its lose a child is bad enough but to lose one through violence must be even more terrible.
Lord hear my prayer.

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Friday, 17 November 2017


Several weeks without a cleaner has been a test. A broken bone is responsible for this calamity...hers not mine and I have got on with it mostly with no problem but occasionally hubris strikes....
I can hoover..of course I can...been doing it for years...but the machines have changed. The means of emptying them has too and once I've pulled them apart I have trouble getting them reassembled correctly.
Somewhere in the house are the instruction that came with them but they are currently hiding.
I've had a cleaner since I moved to Cornwall and needed major surgery within weeks. Once home from hospital, kind friends furnished me with various cleaners who have proved invaluable over the years.
Dealing with a family plus animals...a hairy dog and a cat in our case took a lot of effort which I'm only recently appreciating...
Now there's only me I don't create much mess...but a promised visit from my cleaner prior to coming back on duty has sent me scuttling around with dusters and vacuum cleaners...but it's not a really convincing highly intelligent friend will not be fooled...
But I do have to try.
No dust.....I asked another friend why there's no dust anymore and she blames having no open fires...which is a thought except I've not lived in a house with an open fire for at least twenty years....
I'll stop rambling now....I have housework to do.
The irony of cleaning up prior to a visit from my cleaner has occurred to me...but needs must...there is my ability to look after myself and my home at stake here...
I didn't mind acting a bit helpless when I was younger but now it's essential that I appear to be coping...I really can't afford to be thought of as useless!
So off I go, duster in one hand, vacuum cleaner in the other!

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Thursday, 16 November 2017


Over the last few months I have been the focus of someone who I am starting to believe is deranged.
Every day comments arrive for this blog from "Anonymous"
They are all supposedly a comment on one post.
That 'anonymous' is so lazy that they can't be bothered to pick a different post occasionally is one of the small indications that who ever is sending them is either deranged or desperate.
I have never published one. Occasionally someone sends something from Anon but includes their name at the end. Those I don't mind publishing.
The other posts range from very complimentary to scathing...some are in another language, a great deal of work goes into producing them. They appear during the night as well as during the day.
The sender is clearly obsessed. The posts are not upsetting, they are more a puzzle but not one which occupies much of my time.
Who ever is sending them must be desperate to get my attention, I get several of these every day and night!
I don't know if other bloggers have had a similar experience. Have I inherited a demented lost soul from someone else?
I fear for their mental health and I don't believe the person ever actually reads the current post.
It's all part of my life's rich pattern...I am not upset by being targeted in this way. It is the work of a moment to delete them as they arrive. If the sender actually wants to get in touch with me there are much easier ways of doing it.
I feel sorry for the sender..."anon" needs a good nights sleep!

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Frail old age.

One of my oldest friends arrived yesterday. She is ten years older than me and is now quite frail. I usually drive over to my old village to see her but she really needed to do the driving this time.
As I watched her getting into her car I marvelled that she was still able to do most of what she wanted to do. But I still worried about her getting home.
During our conversation the talk inevitably revisited an old topic.
Years ago she and I had agreed that once a terminal diagnosis had been given to either of us we would both take matters into our hands in order to quit.
This is easy to say but much less easy to carry out.
We both believed that it was not anti Christian to opt out of a lingering unpleasant death. We both regretted the failure of the law makers to provide a sensible way out of a debilitating life in extreme circumstances.
My friend is a doctor. Her mind is clear, it's just her body that is frail. We both agreed that our brains were still functioning well but our bodies lacked strength.
It wasn't a gloomy conversation. It didn't sound like two old people desperate to escape....there was a lot of laughter and no self pity.
She has close family though no one local . I haven't.
This means she spends her Christmases with her family.. ...until this year she has driven to Devon where they all live. This year they will pick her up . She isn't pleased with this but I am relieved that this frail old lady will not be driving to the next county!
She understands why I am away at Christmas . It is the solution to my having lost all my nearest and dearest. So yet again I am on the high seas during the festive season this year. Alleluia!

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Wednesday, 15 November 2017


The current situation in Zimbabwe has reminded me of many conversations with my friend Michael.
He had been a fruit farmer. His parents owned their own farm which had failed after a storm of locusts had literally eaten everything.
He then worked as CEO of a huge area of citrus fruit.
After the takeover of the country he and his family left.
The new regime were taking over the farms, often killing the owners. My friend would talk of those years with tears in his eyes...he lost friends but got out before the worst happened....they arrived in this country and built new lives but his heart was still back there..
I carefully asked the questions I needed to try to find any suggestion of prejudice.
There was none. He described the political changes in South Africa with genuine pleasure...he had attended a boarding school there and then University. His admiration of Mandela was genuine... the way he assumed the role of elder statesman after years of imprisonment with no bitterness had shown him a different way of conducting a fair society.
He never spoke ill of Mugabe...but asserted that Mugabe's wife would want to take charge eventually.
I was in his company several times when a chance meeting with South African people brought about much back clapping and old memories.
It was apparent that his heart still belonged to that country. He often spoke of going back to visit the graves of loved ones...
He was a gentle quiet man who had never been politically involved with any of the events in he still called it.
He used to spread out the maps to show me where he had been brought up. His love of the country was evident.
I shall be watching the events as they unfold...I hope that whatever is happening is bloodless....

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Tuesday, 14 November 2017


It serves me right....I should have not sent in my PTO form to the bishop. But I did and now all the old frustrations are lining up to irritate me.
Yesterday I got my CRB form to fill in. This for those of us not required to jump through hoops regularly in their old age is a form to establish that I have no criminal records anywhere around.
I do recognise the necessity for this...and it is much easier these days if you are required by several organisations to furnish them with proof of your innocence. One will fit all!
Last night I ran a quick eye over the form on line...
Most of it is easy to do but finding proof of habitation gets complicated again.
I have to send in old bills to reassure them that I've lived here for over ten years.
I don't get statements now. Mostly I pay everything by direct debit. Any statements arrive on line.
It's just one more bit of red tape that I don't need. Since getting my first CRB clearance years ago I suppose I have had the opportunity to do bad things but given my calling it seems unlikely....arghhh
The first thing I thought about when waking this morning is getting this last bit of bureaucracy sorted out. But if it gets too complicated I may just stop!
At my age I really don't need this!

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