Wednesday, 11 May 2011

It's not fair.

Right now I am feeling very unpriest like. It's not often I feel like shouting at God but this is one of those times.
My grandson Bobby is in trouble again. I have blogged on this subject before but here is a recap if you missed it.
Bobby was born normal. He was a lively happy toddler who talked a lot. When he was three, recovering from a very bad cold he had a stroke . This left him slightly paralyzed down one side, he had trouble with one hand and was noticeably less bouncy.
At seven he got meningitis. He spent three weeks, mostly in intensive care in hospital. I went on full time prayer duty and wanted him to survive and he did. They took out all the tubes and after another week he could go home. It was bonfire night and he couldn't hear the fireworks. Another trip to hospital confirmed it. He was profoundly deaf. Further medical complications showed up. He was still slightly paralysed and this seemed worse. He was epileptic. His fits were sudden and violent. He wasn't very bright any more.
His condition just got worse. He lost his speech and had to have medical care every day so a place was found for him in a home.
He has been in a home ever since. His mother got meningitis too and she died. He can communicate and is often lively. He is now 22.
Full time care is still needed and this week he has started fitting again after just having occasional ones for years. A stay in hospital reveals another problem. He is diabetic.
It's so bloody unfair! I just want to shout at God. I know He's there. But why on earth can this not get better instead of progressively worse?
It's ok. I'm not really asking for answers. Or even prayers. I never pray that people be cured any more I pray for the best possible outcome. I have no idea what that might mean in Bobby's case. But if you hear the noise of someone shouting at God from a long way away it's me. It's just not fair!



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