This morning is a memorial service for a man I did not know well. Over the last years though we have had several prolonged conversations about his death and his funeral so I have been well briefed.
I have had several gruff phone calls about the timing of it all from people hard pressed to speak to me normally because I am a woman in blokes clothing...that's how one of them put it once.
This morning I woke up to the realisation that the dead man had had, both a lot of friends and also a lot of people who did not like him...
The same could be said about another man of similar ilk whose service was a little while ago. My husband informed me at breakfast that there was no way he was coming this morning. So be it. Message received and understood.
I am left in no doubt that there are people in this life who engender very strong emotions in people. They are either loved or hated with a vengeance.
They are the larger than life people, often very successful in their own field but who have made enemies along the way. My first husband fell into that category.
My own relationship with this man have always been excellent and I will make it a service of celebration for a life well lived to the best of my ability.
I have had the instructions pinned to my notice board for over a year. Fortunately mine are the same as those he gave his children so we should be Ok None of us is to wear black, or grieve, or get maudlin. I can live with all of that. Laughter comes much more easily to me than anything else so now its time to go out and do the man justice.