Saturday, 10 December 2011

Two Tory husbands!

I don't either talk politics with my husband or disagree on much.....but that statement was in danger of coming adrift this morning when he was applauding Cameron on his euro stand!  He was genuinely astounded that I took a different point of view...and thats not the subject of this blog.....my political views are irrelevant to it!
Its whether or not you have to allow a disagreement over anything to  become acrimonious!
We are never all going to agree with each other all the time.....it would be a dreadfully dull world if we did. We are all the sum total of our life  experiences and therefor  our views are always going to be varied and sometimes if violently expressed, disruptive.
My first husband David was an arch Tory and in order to watch the election results we had to do it in separate rooms...other wise by morning we were not speaking!
The present David is also a Tory though not arch...he does see that sometimes they are wrong and on the whole we agree to just not talk about it all much and we even managed the election results  in reasonable harmony!
When we do disagree though we have two options......we can quietly bury the subject and never mention it again or we can sit down and talk it through without resorting to personal abuse.
And we do always manage it...we have never fallen out over anything either of us feel strongly about...and are always amazed at just how much common ground exists between us...if we take the trouble to look for it.
So why can't this happen in real life?
Why do people take it so badly if you reveal that you don't agree with a particular proposition?
I recently said to someone that I didn't always have to agree with everything he put forward but it didn't mean I don't support him personally....
I suppose having now been married to two men with totally opposing views to mine I have learned the art of negotiation. Or of just dodging the issue if things get heated.
In any community there are bound to be opposing views on everything.... If its a small community everyone knows what everyone else is thinking...or they think they do...Too often we leap in to try to resolve a problem and only make it worse....and by the next day everyone knows....
I am now an old woman who has lived in various places, doing several jobs and making lots of friends as I went along......they nearly all hold views that I do not share but they are  either  unaware of this or just tolerate my peculiarities with good grace....
We have to try to live together in harmony. We have to learn to turn the other cheek.... and I have had plenty of practice  since God sent me two husbands with totally opposing views.....
It's a funny old world as Margaret Thatcher once observed....but don't get me going on that one!
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