Wednesday, 11 July 2012

Lifes End.

I apologise to anyone reading this with delicate sensibilities...but I am here to tell you that there is one thing worse than treading in dog poo and treading it about the house.....its treading in it with bare feet!
Oh darling Crispin is I know in the final stages and that brief excursion into bravado is not going to cover up the emotion of what I'm about to write.
My dog is 14......and the biggest golden retriever any vet has seen. I've not been able to pick him up since he was 6 months old...and then it was a struggle..
He was a strong dog who could swim for miles with me in our early days here...
His strength is now waning fast. His back legs no longer support him some days....he has a struggle to get upright unless I happen to be around and can lift his back end into position.
Last night he fell downstairs because he was unable to make his legs work.
His spirit shines through all this.....he greets my visitors with joy, licks the babies, smiles at the bereaved, plays with the toddlers...
He is still interested in his food... and has become incontinent to some degree mostly because his back legs don't let him go anywhere in a hurry.
I give him a painkiller every day in case he's in pain but he shows no sign of discomfort....
He is quite simply mortified when he soils....and can be seen dragging his back legs to get to the door and then realising its too late!
It would be easier if I could pick him up and nurse him......but I can't so I am spending a lot of time on the floor with him....
The preliminary talk with the vet shows the folly of living a long way out of town.  When the final day comes it would be a two hour trip for the vet...and he can't guarantee to make it!
We can't get him into the car any more without hurting him......I really want to find someone to come out and put him gently to sleep....
In the meanwhile I pray......I tell him every night that it would be fine to go to sleep and not to wake up....He seems to understand what I'm saying......but then in the morning he's up and rushing half way up the field.....and in good spirits  so we are not there yet....but it can only be a matter of time now....
It seems wrong somehow to pray for a dog to die......but if you are a praying sort I would appreciate it....Ive got all the big hankies ready......damm it!


  1. Poor beautiful Crispin. You may count on my prayers Jean - for both of you.
    Blessings X

    1. Thank you Ray. It is much appreciated! Xx

  2. I've just come upon this conversation, nearly a month later, so I don't know how things are now but I couldn't just pass by without offering my thoughts and prayers. I've been in the position of having to make that terrible hard prayer you describe and know it takes grace, love and courage to make it. Best wishes and prayers.