Wednesday, 7 November 2012

A cyclical pattern

In the last two weeks everything seems to have changed. Quite apart from losing two dear ones my lovely next door neighbours have gone and new people have arrived who are strangers...for the moment.

From my front gate I can look down across several fields and see the spire of Gerrans church, a landmark for those in peril on the sea but also my landmark's where my son will rest for ever...

It's very fitting in so many ways that this has happened in Autumn, when the leaves are falling and nature appears to be shutting down. The cyclical nature of our seasons has always been full of symbolism for me..the shutting down of summer extravagance becomes bearable by knowing that next year all the flowers will return in glory in the Spring.

Not possible for people I'm afraid and yet....a young mother I know well who lives very close to my sons house gave birth shortly afterwards.

 Born  on the same day, a new great grandson for us on the day my son died.....

Nature, God is full of mysteries....

I contemplate these as I lean on my front gate, decorated with a gift from a local craftsman...a wooden cross..I see the Gerrans spire, and the world is turning...and I must turn with it...

For now I am back to wandering....the hedge rows, the lanes, the quiet places....they all show the signs of change and are therefor very appropriate...

Getting older is better than the alternative but there are now so many of my loved ones to remember....who have gone before feels very wrong....that's all.


  1. I cannot even begin to imagine what it feels like to lose your children Jean. It must be quite dreadful.
    I remember my mother's reaction to the death from cancer of my sister-in-law 20 years ago. My mother was then in her eighties and kept saying "it is the wrong way round", Anne was 57 full of energy and vitality and her death was a huge shock to everyone who knew her. Yet she, because she was so full of life had probably done more in her relatively short life than most of us in a further 20 or thirty years.
    Now, at this distance in time, we can all look back with gratitude and without pain when we remember her larger than life personality.
    Some people leave a huge footprint, others barely make a ripple, yet each has lived a life, long or short, and time allows those who knew them best to appreciate who and what they were, while still deeply regretting their passing.

  2. Jean, you write and express yourself so well, that what appears so peaceful is heart rending.

    Love and prayers continue [*]