When in 1992 the vote was expected on whether women were allowed to become priests I watched the television hoping against hope that the vote would be carried. When it was I wept. Tears of joy and also of regret. It was too late for me. I was around 55.
When my husband came home he was astonished to find me in tears. I had never explained the call I had had as a teenager to him.
I had become a teacher instead of going into the church but the call was real and insistent and was hard to deny.
When David died I came to live in Cornwall and the call returned. I knew I was too old this time but thought about becoming a lay reader.
During that process I was asked if I would consent to being ordained.
Amazed I agreed and it really was the happiest day of my life. My call was finally fulfilled.
I work as an assistant priest here on the Roseland doing a job I should have been working at all my life.
I would never aspire to being a bishop but I feel for those capable women who would be splendid in that capacity.
I am so sorry that the vote was lost. It seems entirely unfair.
My trust in God means that I am sure some way will be found through this at some stage so yesterday's vote will simply be a stepping stone to a future that includes women as equals.
And I think that's what the rest of the Anglican fellowship will want too.
The Holy Spirit moves in mysterious ways. She will get us there in the end.
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