We try to behave as though nothing much has happened really and it's all going to be alright in the end.
Even when it's not.
Even when the people who are weeping are your friends and neighbours who you care about deeply there is still the necessity to be grave and upright and not to allow too much emotion to muddy the waters.
On these occasions I am struck by the pictures of the women in countries where an expression of grief is normal, almost ritualised.
I wish at times I could be one of those women who wail aloud and beat their breasts . Maybe afterwards some of the grief may have gone or maybe not.
But we can't. We are British. We don't do those things.
So today, in the face of massive grief and suffering we will hug, we will kiss, and we will not weep as we do it. So I am going to weep in private....making no sound.
Outwardly I will be calm, grave, reassuring.
Inwardly I will be wailing .