Monday, 15 July 2013

Sad day

When you see people who are suffering it is often difficult to know what to do. My instinct is to throw my arms around them and pour love upon them with every fibre of my being. Yet somehow we can't do that. Beyond a hug we are paralysed by the need not to be "over the top"

We try to behave as though nothing much has happened really and it's all going to be alright in the end.

Even when it's not.

Even when the people who are weeping are your friends and neighbours who you care about deeply there is still the necessity to be grave and upright and not to allow too much emotion to muddy the waters.

On these occasions I am struck by the pictures of the women in countries where an expression of grief is normal, almost ritualised.

I wish at times I could be one of those women who wail aloud and beat their breasts . Maybe afterwards some of the grief may have gone or maybe not.

But we can't. We are British. We don't do those things.

So today, in the face of massive grief and suffering we will hug, we will kiss, and we will not weep as we do it. So I am going to weep in private....making no sound.

Outwardly I will be calm, grave, reassuring.

Inwardly I will be wailing .

1 comment:

  1. Sometimes the calm cool appearance can be just what is needed.
    I think part of the 'British' approach is the need not to offend the sufferer by being seen as trying to have the monopoly on grief.
    There really is nothing worse than the funeral where the bereaved somehow manages to keep from collapsing while someone else wails and weeps copiously.
    But, I do know what you mean about the silent wailing.