Someone asked me at the weekend how I managed to hold on to my faith. The reply was somewhere between a shrug of the shoulders....and I think I said something like, "What's the alternative."
It is a tricky question and even harder to answer with any degree of truth. We had been praying for those near death and those already dead. We were also praying for those who mourn.
To say I have never doubted the existence of God would not be true....there are times when I wonder if I am deluding myself, if I will never see my lost loved ones again.....if on death the small spec of consciousness that holds our essence rejoins all the other small specs to make the great ocean of consciousness that we all spring from.
About that point often anger steps in....anger for lost husbands, lost children, lost pets....all the loved ones who have now died...sometimes then I shout at God.....for taking away those I have loved....and then I realise yet again that you can only be angry with something if its real, if its there.
God has always been part of my life since being a small girl praying for my daddy to come home from the war...
God is. I remind you of the words in the communion service.
"Great is the mystery of faith"
It is a mystery I think...but one that has been part of my life for as long as I can remember.
Thank you God .