Tuesday, 17 December 2013


We live in a house a long way out of town. There are three other houses built onto the old farm buildings. There's the dairy, the cottage, the barn and our house, the original farmhouse. Two of the homes are holiday lets so it's us and the people next door up here. They are lovely and we don't see much of them in the winter.

Ever since we moved here I have encouraged people to just walk in. Our sitting room is upstairs and we sometimes don't hear a tap on the door so often people walk in and shout...until recently this has been fine......absolutely no problem.

Suddenly. I really don't like it....I'm not sure why but it now feels like an intrusion into our privacy....

This started in the summer when the man from one of the holiday homes took to wandering around our garden looking for us.. He even found us in the summerhouse which tends to be our bolt hole where I am reading or praying or listening to music and don't want to be disturbed. .

He then started coming into the house so I started locking the front door after he had walked in on me once too often. A sigh of relief from me and David came when he went home and once again the door could be left open.

Now when David is so ill we have encouraged lots of visitors until quite recently but now not knowing from day to day how things are I am asking people to ring first..just to be on the safe side....

So why do I feel so threatened when another man has started to walk in unannounced every day, sometimes several times a day to see David. The same man I've found walking around our garden twice this week... And I am astonished by the negative thoughts this has provoked.

This morning I am going back to locking the front door... But there's no lock on the garden...we have never even considered needing one.

I'm not sure what's going on with me here....but the garden has become a sanctuary....up there miles from anywhere I can weep, sometimes shout, occasionally scream..knowing that I am alone...and this is being eroded by someone who I am sure acts in goodwill, wanting to help, or just be on hand if help is needed.

I am astonished by my reaction to this intrusion but it's very real and has to be dealt with...it's getting in the way of my caring for my husband...

We now know that the treatment doesn't start till after Christmas so lots of visitors will be very welcome... But only after they have knocked on the door!


  1. I think that you're quite right to discourage casual visitors. Why can't people have the sense to see that you and David might just wan't your privacy, while he is so vulnerable.

    Perhaps a notice on the door asking for consideration might help as well as one on the ansafone. But locking the front door is the first step.

    Do you have any way of securing the garden, perhaps having an internal catch to open from the inside, but with no external catch. And perhaps a polite notice requesting people not to trespass, which is what they're actually doing.

    [*] for you and David are ongoing.

  2. Thanks Earnie....trying not to be too obvious....everyone has good motives I'm sure! Or at least I think I'm sure!

  3. I believe Ernie is right Jean. You cannot be sure of this man's motives and unless you can tell him face-to-face that you need your garden to be a private sanctuary, free from unexpected visitors,
    you need to lock whatever you can.
    I hope you can find a solution and meanwhile prayers continue.

  4. Thank you Ray.....oddly after writing the blog this morning we have been very quiet all day! The door is still locked though and heavy rain and wind is keeping everything out of the garden! But I think your both right.... intend to have a word with him next time!