David has left me with one of his bad habits. Every morning since we married he got up very early indeed...some mornings it was five am but more often around six...
He said it was a habit started when as a working builder he had to be on site for seven o'clock or thereabouts! It was a habit only broken when he became seriously ill. Indeed it was one of the signs I heeded that all was very much amiss with him...
In better times he got up, went downstairs to let Crispin out, and always brought me a glass of orange juice to wake up to!
Now it has become my habit...I have no dog to let out but I still open the front door to take my first breath of sweet Cornish air before returning to bed with my glass of juice!
This is very annoying but it does mean I am abreast of all the world news and the latest approaching rain and wind!
Sitting up in bed listening to radio 4 whilst it's still dark is not my idea of bliss but for the moment it seems to be my lot in life....so be it!
I am now very well informed....but this just gives me time to worry about what the next step should be...I can and do still weep at the drop of a hat...for as many problems are solved, more appear every day... I shall never have sorted out all the details to everyone satisfaction but I am making progress in some directions!
The signs of Spring appear daily. Great buds sit on all the trees, the camellias are out, the new path means my feet are dry....and I am still chatting to my darling David as I go.....things could be worse....I think!
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3 comments:
Prayers and {{{Hugs}}} continue from here.
I have to admit that I'm an early riser, always have been since my days as a Post Office messenger and having to be in work for early shift at 0500 to take out telegrams or special deliveries in the City or to Fleet Street papers. It's now a life long habit and even retired, I'm up by 5.15 each day. Early morning is peaceful, time to feed the cats and for Morning Prayer.
I know that you said the other day that progress was slow and I think that it's better to take one small step at a time, at your own pace and your first consideration must be your own welfare and peace of mind - everything pales into insignificance (to my mind) in comparison.
It's natural that tears are always there, and I'm known to weep if something reminds me of dear, departed loved ones. And it's an important outlet for our feelings and emotions. (Might be strange coming from a man - but I've learned not to bottle up emotions the hard way).
I Love reading your posts - they so give me the opportunity to think of your situation and to offer Thanks giving for the loving relationship that you enjoyed with David and for your ongoing relationship with God.
As you know Jean I am also an early riser and I love it, In the Winter all is peaceful and in the Spring and Summer I am in the garden pottering.
I find that even without the tragedy that you have, I can weep (and do) at things that are things that were, and the fact that the snowdrops are here again and so lovely..
Chin up sweetheart we are all beside you.xx
I belong to the early riser brigade too. By 6.15 I have put out bird seed, fed any visiting moggy, put out my breakfast things, made tea and returned to bed.
I make myself do early morning exercises too, the less i feel like it, the more important it is to crack on with it.
In calm reflective moments early morning is a time of great peace, the world is new every day and the cares of that day have not yet arrived,so before the rush begins it is a unique chance to just be.
Take it slowly Jean.
Love and prayers. X
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