I went back to work yesterday...it was filling in when no one else was available . It involved a long haul up to our memorial gardens, standing high above the creek. I took one of David's walking sticks with me.
The sun shone, the ground wasn't too wet and I buried the ashes of an old lady without a tear shed....by any of us.
I had to get back to work at some stage and this could not have been planned better to get me up and running again.
So high above the creek with the church far below us it was possible to be aware not just of the physical beauty surrounding us but of the deeper beauty apparent to us all.
Back home afterwards I walked the garden and found something new....a small horse shoe...about half the size of a regular one...I can't imagine what creature shed it but it added to the magic of the day...
The deep peace of grace enfolds me now and I am at last able to contemplate life without my darling...
I had rather he had lived but if I have to go on without him then days like today will make it all alright, providing I continue to ignore the growing pile of forms to fill in!