Emerging slowly from a deep dark cavern and able to discern small points of light around me I have woken to the knowledge that grief makes you selfish. In my case very selfish.
The habit of shutting myself off from people has become engrained . It was necessary for a while but having done Low Sunday yesterday and meeting people not glimpsed since last year I can see quite clearly that the bubble I'm living in has to be popped.
I am not yet up to date with everyone's news....but over the next week I will try.
People here have been very good and have given me the space I asked for but it's time to come out from the dark place I think...
I was quite shocked yesterday to hear details of lives that have passed me by!
Other people are grieving too....for all sorts of good reasons....
But whilst I have stayed at home wrapped up in my own cares and woes, so have other people around me been coping with different problems but just as important, just as difficult to deal with.
I've kept out of twitter and Facebook as much as possible but I see from a quick sortie this morning that I do need to cast the first clout of misery and open my eyes and ears to what is going on around me....
Yesterday I had lunch with an old friend needing help and I had been unaware of it. I apologise to those who needed me when I wasn't there....but hopefully I'm back now, in part if not in entirety...yet.
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1 comment:
[*] as you reenter the fray of pastoral ministry - that you are able to use your own suffering to allay the suffering of others.
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