Several people have asked me lately what I'm taking to cope with my bereavement . It is very odd to be asked this, the inference being I think that if I appear to be coping well there could be a chemical reason!
Old women of my age don't take anti depressants. In our youth drugs that could alter the state of your mind were just being invented and I'm sure that for some people they work and make a hard life more bearable.
I am though old enough to remember the impact of thalidomide.
When I was pregnant with my son our doctor asked me if I wanted some marvellous new drug designed to make you feel well despite morning sickness etc.
I refused this wonder drug and had cause to be extremely grateful that I had.
The effects of thalidomide were just being seen and made public.
I had a long stretch in hospital from the fifth month with pre eclampsia . Stories about deformed babies were just beginning to circulate. One of the gynocologists asked what I'd taken before going into hospital.
Eventually she asked me point blank if I'd taken thalidomide. The relief on her face when I was able to reassure her spoke volumes.
By the time I gave birth we all knew about the poor babies with no or deformed limbs.
These children must now be in their fifties but still bear the dreadful results of their mother taking in all innocence the drug that caused such misery. I hope they are still being cared for now some of their parents will have gone before them and I'm not really talking about money. Many of them I know received substantial payments from the drug companies. It's loving care I'm talking about. The care of people who love you is still the most important ingredient here.
And that's why even if I was in the depth of despair which I'm not I would never take any drug designed to make me feel better...
The odd glass of wine is obviously an exception !