Wednesday, 14 May 2014

Talking too much!

A new situation has crept up on me almost unnoticed.

The need to communicate is my undoing.

When you live with someone you chat. Throughout the day all sorts of things get discussed..the weather, what's in the news, the exploits of the people around you. There's no agenda, as things come up, you talk. Over the various meals, coffee, the trips to the shops, tending the garden, all are topics of inconsequential chattering almost without noticing.

When the only person in the house is you the opportunity to natter is gone. So you talk to yourself, you address the departed, humans and pets. But it's not the meangful conversation that goes on between two people.

The blog helps. Keeping a diary has always been part of my life and the habit is too engrained now to abandon it!

But there is a problem with all of this. When you are with real people as opposed to ghosts you talk too much!

I have met several people over the years who I put into the category...."talks too much". These are people I try to avoid if I can......and horror of horrors I'm turning into one !

It's a sort of relief mechanism. You know you only have a small amount of time so you go for it....getting off your chest all the things that have been sitting there unspoken for too long.

My problem is that I know when I've done it....when I've banged on for far too long...bored someone else to death, said the wrong things to the wrong people....I am aware of it even as my mind reviews the conversation!

Then I wish I could take it back but it's too late! Any attempt to address the situation only adds to the sum total of talk!

I've never actually seen anyone's eyes glaze over as they realise that you are off down memory lane but it's only a matter of time......all I can do is try not to bang on too much and too long with people I meet...and when I fail and do talk too much I apologise...and that of course includes the blog which is after all a silent form of conversation!

So if anyone approaches me on my morning ramblings....the advice is to run....or drown under a torrent of words.... You have been warned!


  1. Yet another one I recognise only too well Jean. I think in time you will adjust to measuring your verbal output, but in the initial stages the entire world is turned into a sounding board (bored).
    I found that when I was forced to stop by sheer lack of breath I would then say sheepishly "sorry I didn't mean to drown you in words you should have stopped me".
    Mostly they would reply politely, "not at all, it was interesting"
    "Ha, I would think, "for the first half hour maybe".
    Seriously I really think most people understand and in the end you will 'level out' again.
    If not, you could always phone me:)

  2. I think that what is happening is perfectly natural and will adjust with a little more time and space. As Ray says, you will level out with time.

    I mentioned in a previous comment about a friend who lost his spouse suddenly in late December. He's happy to say that he's still talking to Ann and even anticipating her replies. I actually find this lovely, because talking to or about Ann (as you do about David) keeps them vibrant and alive in memory. Love transcends even death and these conversations might not be happening if love had been absent.

    I'm often on my own at home while Jen is working. I talk to the Cats and to myself sometimes, which might be a little strange, but I just get on with it and don't worry about it at all. I know that when I was in the discernment process the thing that was said to me was to try to govern the drivel that came out of my mouth, be more concise and clear. Well, easier said than done. :(

    Now, in Company, I tend to hold back because of this - but once I get going, there's no holding me back :( Perhaps I need a zip fitted :)