Yesterday was the first Sunday since I became a widow again that I spent the day on my own. I did the eight o'clock Communion and the rest of the day was mine...
I have been out to lunch literally for months until yesterday.
I always cooked the traditional Sunday roast for David. If we went out he always had the roast....habits die hard in the old....
On my own I have only had two roasts since he died and I didn't cook them!
Yesterday I had a choice finding myself on my own...I could have had a steak or lamb chops...but I opted for tandoori chicken...
I have taken up the challenge first encountered when the first David died. To reinvent my self...
Being half of a couple means to some degree losing yourself....you are no longer a single entity...you are one half of a unit.
You go with what your man wants..his preferences become yours...this applies to food, watching the TV, arranging the furniture and what hangs on your walls...
It's the same for the other half of course...we modify ourselves to fit together as one entity...
When a marriage fails it is often because this modification is resented by one or both of the partners.
Over the last months I have reassessed the decor, the furniture, the colour schemes..and today for the first time I have realised that I am on a different route....I am in the process to becoming me again..Of discovering who I really am.
The last time this happened I moved to Cornwall and went into the church..but I was still a mother...
It's hard to imagine what the outcome of this period of reinvention might bring...but even at my age I seem to be capable of change...With Gods help I can!
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5 comments:
This inspires me!
God be with you.
And also with you!
I am now living alone. Ron is still alive (just) and I visit every day sometimes twice but the freedom at home is overwhelming me. Food is a big problem thank god for 'Tesco's finest' I have so much food stored in the freezers that I am never going to use as I think my days of giving dinner parties are over. I tried yesterday to put some order into the chaos, I may have to find a worthy cause but that's difficult with frozen food. Any suggestions?
I had a similar problem with frozen food Babs. I didn't want to risk giving anyone food poisoning...so I am ashamed to say that I threw quite a lot out....
Don't rush this Babs...this is a painful adjustment . Take it slowly. Xxx
Ron used to call me the whirling dervisher I am afraid that I will have to ditch eventually I am a terror for hoarding food. Used to be called the H Bomb Store Tins are easier to get rid of .
You are so right Jean I have never hurt so much in all my lifexxx
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