I had to explain to an old friend today that I had had a week unable to talk or eat. There was a fairly longish pause...
"Which of those did you miss most?"
Well this needed some thought.
As a single woman there is no need to speak much...except in church.
Food was irrelevant for some time last year so that didn't bother me too much either so it was a hard one to answer till I remembered that I'd rudely cut a conversation short because it hurt too much to contribute!
So speech wins! But that got me pondering on how those people who can't communicate for various reasons feel.
My problem was temporary...and anyway there was still writing...which led me to the conclusion that in this solitary life I am now living I have fastened on the ability to chat and it really doesn't matter if there's no one actually present when I speak!
I know that people do read what I write but I suspect that I'd still be blogging even if no one knew about it. So how many more of us are out there falling into this category!
It's not that we are lonely....even if we live alone....its that we need to converse...to occasionally say something worth while or funny or left wingish...and that really is the essence of Twitter and Facebook....even if there is no other human being for miles which is sometimes literally true in my case, there is always some one out there.....in the ether, and not big brother but other human beings with aspirations , doubts and hopes.
As I grow older this thought cheers me in an odd way. It's not the same as having a dog or a cat. It's certainly not the same as having a husband or a child but it is still a valid means of communication and I am grateful for it!
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3 comments:
This is, to some extent, how I feel about the blog. Of course it doesn't have the immediacy of Twitter or Facebook, but is still a way of saying what you need to say whether or not anyone reads or responds.
In a way what I miss most since John died is a human sounding board.
He didn't always respond to my chatter but was a tangible presence. I know that reduces him to his lowest common denominator but is the only way I can think of describing the 'empty house' feeling when you have a comment to make and no-one to make it to.
Exactly!
I know that my companionship with Jen is one which just works. When I was working, I was her sounding board and the other way around. Now, she is the sole earner in our home, I'm her sounding board when she gets home.
I am doing stuff, but mostly outside the home in Church, with Church, for Church or for my LLM training. I try to restrict the Essay writing for the hours that Jen is at work, but she has to put up with me popping out for 3 hours on a Wednesday evening for Training and about every fourth Saturday and fortunately, only one residential a year.
I tell here what I've been doing, but I don't think that she is too deep into the theology or reflective practices that I'm required to maintain on an almost daily basis.
She puts up with all of my stuff, because it's giving her the pleasure of seeing me really engaged with God and all of his works, when for the first 18 years of our marriage I refused to engage with God or anything to do with him - for Jen, a lifelong Anglican, that was a little hard. But now she goes off to her place of worship when she wants, without me, as her home church is one from her childhood - and she sticks to them. And I don't dispute that - it means something in terms of loyalty and childhood memories.
Sorry, just realising I'm running on a bit when all that I wanted to say, is that saying what we need to say is important :)
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