Thursday, 23 April 2015


I have become a procrastinator. I put things off all the time!

Yesterday I finally went to the doctor but only because I got called in! It was my first visit since becoming a widow....the associations with previous visits where we received appalling news meant that I quite deliberately have ignored things which needed dealing with!

A new process is now ensuing....blood pressure checks, blood analysis etc...all the usual stuff neglected for the last two years, they are all now catching up with now I'm putting off making the necessary appointments!

I have to see a dermatologist soon and I find myself mentally putting this off too!

Driving anywhere I'm not familiar with has become a problem.

I am astonished by my own timidity! I've never been like this....but I am now,

It's too easy to shelter behind bereavement....and I regularly make brave desicions to become more active in all sorts of ways, only to put off the actual moment of action once again.

The process of aging Is now in full swing. The need to write is strong but I am aware that that is just another way of putting off the actual job of living!

I pray. Some days that is the only useful thing I do! But the bottom line here is that I am a very lucky woman....I still have work to do. I live in a lovely place...there are far more things to be thankful for than to be miserable about!

All I have to do is get on with everything! And I decide to do that regularly. I'll start tomorrow!!!


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