Sunday, 14 June 2015

Survival

Fifty three years ago yesterday I gave birth to my first baby. I had had a bad pregnancy with pre eclampsia and had spent several months of my life in hospital. Talking to the retired doctor who took me to the hospital yesterday I recalled vividly how awful it was to spend months unable to do anything!
I was in bed almost all of the time and was not allowed anything to read beyond some picture books. The treatment then for very high blood pressure was pheno barbitone so I was dozy much of the time. Once when my neighbour had slipped a book to me under cover of darkness my pressure shot up so high I had to be given morphine. I quite liked it...and anyway a bit of drama on the ward was very welcome!
My friend from yesterday commented that I was lucky to have survived and of course I was and the wonderful prize was taking my son home after an easy birth which really was full of joy.
That I have now survived my son is one of life's great pains but I still have the joy, the love that flooded through me when first holding the precious bundle. It was of course also a small miracle that he survived the pregnancy and I sometimes wonder if it was all part of the cosmic plan and then of course I shrug and tell myself not to be stupid!
I commented on Saturday that until recently most of my bad health problems were in my youth ....but that seems to be changing now I'm an old woman....
What ever...I am in the hands of God... I can now remember my children and my husband without weeping and for the most part all my memories are good ones...so there's still a lot to be thankful for.
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