Waking early yet again I listened to a small talk on the radio . It was about memory and how sometimes false memory can occur.
When you become old you have more memories tucked Inside your head than younger people...that much is obvious!
I am struck by the fact that during the months leading to his death my dear David was gripped by the urgent need to share his memories...he wrote many of them down and then talked at length about his working life and his relationships with close friends and colleagues.
I now wonder occasionally if I am following a similar route.....
I believe my memories so far are accurate...but I can never be sure...the notion of false memory syndrome is a bit worrying..and I realise that my war memories and life with my grandparents may not have been the glorious time I remember so well.....there were bad times to come but you tend to blot those events out over the years .so how accurate can they be?
One of my talents has always been the peace of meditation....to empty my mind, to find the place in my head closer to God...to meditate or to pray.
This clearly involves ridding my mind of all the scribble, the detritus of life which encroaches the quiet times...as a young woman of the sixties I embraced the "new age" trends with some success. I was not a flower child for nothing! This technique I still use...and I hope the wonderful silence is real....
I don't sit down and try to remember things.....it occurs naturally, prompted by words on the radio or films on the TV.... But I am not yet gripped by the urgent need to recall my children, my early days, old loves and lives...but I know it's only a matter of time!
So please excuse my memories when they occur...it is the handing on of wisdom .occasionally, and of moments of joy as well as grief....and thankfully there are still wonderful moments , days , weeks of joy...thank you God.