Friday, 11 March 2016


My visitor having departed I am now doing what I suspect we all's not a celebration as such but it is a reclaiming of my space! I am going from room to room putting back everything that has been moved .
I have changed the sheets, the washing machine is whirring along with the dish washer!
I have enjoyed having company in the house but now I realise the sad truth....I have got used to living on my fact I like it!
This way lies selfishness I know. And I can accept all of the above but when did I get so particular about silly little things like putting all the cups upside down in the cupboard?
Why do my towels have to be folded in a particular way? Why do my books have to be placed where I can find them without searching for them?
I am become an old woman and there is no "ing" on that word.....I just am!
It's very weird because as a younger woman I was never super tidy. So when, at what stage of my life did it become a way of life to have everything in its place?
It must I think have been fairly recent because I never was so obsessive...
Is it part of the ageing process or just the final part of bereavement?
I need to get the house back to what it has always been, a safety blanket, a haven where I can still talk to David as well as God!
Poor old woman! Except I don't feel in any way poor. I am exceptionally rich in all the things that matter....and I'm not talking money!
This short period of readjustment is coming to an end...
I am almost ready to start playing stupid games again....or even Scrabble!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad


Ray Barnes said...

Your attitude to reclaiming your space rings bells with me.
I don't have anyone to stay, but even a day-long visit results in all sorts of small alterations to daily habits and I think there is a need to re-assert our control over the small behaviours which make up our routines.
That's not to say we have become obsessive but more that we operate better when we have a particular way of doing things, or places where things belong.
When as you have, we lose the other people who share our lives one thing we all tend to do is to reestablish a pattern of living which depends on no-one else.

Jean Rolt said...

Thanks for that sensitive reasoning...makes me feel much better about what seemed to me a rather selfish action.

Ray Barnes said...

Not selfish Jean, but sometimes we need to do things for our own good.