Friday, 11 March 2016


My visitor having departed I am now doing what I suspect we all's not a celebration as such but it is a reclaiming of my space! I am going from room to room putting back everything that has been moved .
I have changed the sheets, the washing machine is whirring along with the dish washer!
I have enjoyed having company in the house but now I realise the sad truth....I have got used to living on my fact I like it!
This way lies selfishness I know. And I can accept all of the above but when did I get so particular about silly little things like putting all the cups upside down in the cupboard?
Why do my towels have to be folded in a particular way? Why do my books have to be placed where I can find them without searching for them?
I am become an old woman and there is no "ing" on that word.....I just am!
It's very weird because as a younger woman I was never super tidy. So when, at what stage of my life did it become a way of life to have everything in its place?
It must I think have been fairly recent because I never was so obsessive...
Is it part of the ageing process or just the final part of bereavement?
I need to get the house back to what it has always been, a safety blanket, a haven where I can still talk to David as well as God!
Poor old woman! Except I don't feel in any way poor. I am exceptionally rich in all the things that matter....and I'm not talking money!
This short period of readjustment is coming to an end...
I am almost ready to start playing stupid games again....or even Scrabble!

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