As I prepared for todays service I ran my mind briefly over the weeks events...
It's not the same church where I got heckled last Sunday...but it's not far away!
Ok. Deep breath!
The words of one of my oldest friends came back to me as I sorted out the readings, collects etc.
I had emailed her to explain my absence from many of the social events and my recurring misery.
Her mail came back almost straight away,
" Jean you really need to have a word with God. He's defnately picking on you"
This would have made me laugh in happier times but right now it hit the spot.
Having lost almost all of my dear ones in the last years it is beginning to feel personal...and I have to admit that my faith has been stretched almost to the limit .....I think.
I had joked with this same friend at one point that I couldn't have another dog. It would be yet another hostage to fortune...
So here I am trying to get my head in roughly the right place...no one ever said it would be easy but I do feel that I am being tried!
The only comfort in this is that I am still addressing God, often sternly on the lines of asking Him what He wants of me......
No wonder He doesn't reply!
,
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
3 comments:
Jean,
I don't think that God is trying you. You have just been in the middle of those whose time here with you has come to an end. God gives and he takes away. People are praying for you each and every day. And if we believe (as I do) that no prayer is wasted, you have carried on with a lot of tears and heartache, but have remained an inspiration to those of us, who can't imagine having to cope with so much loss.
I think that many of us are asking God to give you some respite and peace of heart and mind - joining with the silent prayer of yours for the same.
So please Father God, give Jean some respite from loss, bring your grace abundantly into her life, empower her to continue to live in and through you, to inspire those of us, who have no experience of such loss in positive ways that bring your Kingdom closer, here among your people.
Lord, in your Mercy, hear our prayers
Amen
Thank you so much for your words and prayers...they mean a lot!
A heartfelt Amen to that lovely prayer.
And even that great Saint Teresa of Avila once famously had a Moment and said so x
http://www.paceminterris.org/experience
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