Sunday, 11 September 2016

Anxiety in church.

I found myself in a strange position yesterday morning. I was nervous. It wasn't just the cough, it was the memory of what happened the last time I preached in an inland church.
I was heckled!
That in itself was not in any way frightening....I went away for two weeks afterwards and it was the very last thing on my mind.
But on getting home I was astonished to find that in the village where it had happened lots had been said on my behalf and tempers were running a little high!
A series of emails worried my absence I seemed to have become the hadn't died down at all!
I hadn't been complaining about the incident to anyone. Not only had I been out of the country I had had bronchitis. I was able to cough convincingly as I tried to explain myself!
It all ended amicably enough but yesterday I realised that I was still anxious...what if it happened again? What if the same young man turned up during the service that morning?
It's been a while since I got the equivalent of stage fright. But it happened !
All in fact went well...but I had a word with the two church wardens after I got there, just in case. I needed that know that I would have support if I needed it!
Hopefully that's the end of the "stage fright" I got a lot of support for which I was very grateful.
The incident has clearly had a much greater effect on me than I had realised.
Hopefully now it will fade into a bad memory.
God willing!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

1 comment:

  1. Things that knock your confidence are difficult to overcome. But prayer and reflection helps, as does support from friends and family. Perhaps the young man who heckled you was having a bad day? But forgiveness is something that also helps us to overcome the self doubt that might arise in these situations.

    I have had the benefit of quiet words from people in our congregation as I have preached, gently encouraging, while pointing out some of the things that I do that can be distracting. It all helps me to learn and to grow. And, now, my first year 3 module is preaching (the first formal training for it), which I am really looking forward too.

    Prayers for you as you overcome :)