The Timehop app on my iPad is bringing back many many memories of the approach to Christmas over the last years. They are heart rending my old blogs but I still read them, particularly those dealing with my husbands last Christmas when he was waiting for his radio treatment to start.
We clearly had not realised the inevitable end was looming and I was making Christmas as normal as possible. Difficult to read now....
There are also posts from the year after when I'd embarked on my first Christmas cruise...photographs taken then show people on our table before they got off the boat in New York. I'm still in touch with a couple of them...
The need not to be home during this period is very evident.
This time tomorrow I will be speeding on my way through the darkness to reach Southampton.
This is the third Christmas cruise since that last sad one that was Davids last.
I suspect that whilst I am able to do it it will remain my answer to the grief that engulfs me still at times...
If I'm on the sea avoiding all the memories of my husband and my children I am lotus eating in a big way....
Coping with not being sea sick tends to take centre stage in all our minds as we navigate the dreaded bay....
I will remember my lost loved ones...I can't avoid that but having distractions on board a large ship is my way of coping....for the the time being....
I just hope the great waves are not too huge this year!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
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