I was keeping late hours last night because today is my bad day...
Too many things have happened on the 22 October for me to simply let it go by. As a fairly ancient astrologer I should be able to find a quick explanation of the fact that I associate this day with affliction.
It was David's bad day too. When we met he told me with tears in his eyes of his wife's death on this day.
It was my daughters birthday...and it's odd that my son died on that day too...
I would like to blame Saturn, or several bad juxtapositions in the heavens but I can't.
There is no logical reason that would satisfy a reasonably intelligent person.
And yet there it is. Two of my dogs also went aloft on this date...
It is just bad luck or karma .....
I don't on the whole visit my graves . The dead are not there. It is only the last vestige of their bodies but their essence, the intelligence that made up their characters, is still there in my heart , to be remembered with tears as well as joy on the special days.
To lose my children is I have found harder than losing a husband...it is against natural law.
And yet though they are gone before me I did bear them and carried them to term with love. I watched over them in sleep and nursed them through their illnesses. So I have had the joy of motherhood in abundance.
I have fought their battles in their absence. I have read my sons poetry and listened to my daughters flute music.
Their essence stays with me through the years. The joy, the laughter and the tears.
Sleep well my little ones.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
3 comments:
I hope today has not been too bad for you Jean.
Such a catalogue of sorrows!
The 'accident' of the date being the same for so many is strange indeed but life is full of such apparent coincidences.
Sleep well in the knowledge that at least the date is over for another year.
Blessings.
That is so kind. Thank you Ray.
A woman came to me on a coffee morning in the Church Hall a couple of months to go. She was quite teary. She asked if I would open the church to allow her to light a candle and to pray. Off course I said yet.
I accompanied her and sat quietly while she did what she wanted to do, and than we talked.
She confided that that particular day, held real significance for her. I was her birthday, the anniversary of the death of her husband, father and brother.
So, much grief and trauma had once again, years later overwhelmed her emotions. We talked about grief and how, it can catch us out, even years after a single loss, let alone for her, three on the same memorable date.
I was able to offer healing prayer with her, and we have developed a special bond for prayer. Now, I know, I have shared some outline details with my Vicar and Prayer team, but she knows and is happy that she is prayed for by the Church.
She was born in the parish, more than 80 years ago, was baptized, confirmed and married there, and all of her family funerals have taken place there. And the ashes of her loved ones are interred in our memorial garden. But she doesn't come to worship - I asked why, and she said that there had just been so many memories attached to the building, that she felt she couldn't worship there. She goes to the Baptist Church to worship, but is not a member there - she considers All Saints as her Parish Church, for prayer and quiet sitting and remembering, normally during the week, when she can slip in unobserved and leave quietly.
She does attend our events outside the church building - and is on the electoral roll - and wants her funeral, when it comes along, with us. So, is a member of our congregation.
I can't explain how her emotional involvement affects her, but it affected me, and I held back the emotions until I was alone.
My own pattern of grief came to mind and my loss of a bother and sister in the past two years hit with a vengeance. How do people cope with grief? It is so hit and miss, and such a powerful emotional drain - I feel over it, but I'm not sure that the feeling is as cut and dried as that. God knows, and I hope that he understands.
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