Sunday, 23 August 2020
Sunday again.
I know its Sunday but it doesnt feel like any other Sunday right now. I should be getting used to it but I am not. Not going to church is always going to be weird but exploring all the strange offerings from various churches is even weirder! Its quiet outside. I am tempted to go out to see if anything is open but I cant do that so I will explore the internet offerings again. I have found some seriously weird stuff offering various services in the past but today I just want simplicity.To say the Lords Prayer on my own in the garden seems the best way of tackling it. I really wish it could all go back to normal now...its been weird long enough.. I know I can turn on one of the services on the radio later if only to listen to the hymns. But somehow I cant sing along just at the moment ..... my heart really isnt in it and its raining now too so may be praying outside is not the best idea either...oh dear! I hope my reflections this morning are not typical of anyone elses. I dont get depressed very often and it never lasts long...getting out of bed and dressed gets my basic good humour started...most days...we shall see. ... at least I can scann through various offerings on the net..they can be quite amusing...though I am not sure the people starring in them intend them to be. I have found several strange bishops in the past all trying to sound normal and failing hysterically. ... the urge there is to giggle not to pray.... so another weird Sunday seems likely. I can do this! Honestly I can!
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I was in Church yesterday for a celebration of our Priest in Charge being inducted as our Vicar, which in a Pandemic meant we had the Arch Deacon, rather than one of our Bishops, although the charge was from our Suffragan, delegated from our Diocesan.
This was a one off. I didn't robe or have anything to do in the service, but it was really good to be present, to receive communion for the first time in five months. I won't be back in active ministry until September, with a much reduced work load. No visits, not opening the church for private prayer, none of the activities that I formerly pursued, particularly arts and crafts and table tennis clubs.
I miss the interaction with so many, people who used to be in church or our hall, or those that I visited at home or in care places. They must feel so isolated, but my age and diabetes makes my continuing in those roles not wise for the time being, or perhaps until we have a working vaccine.
I am not retired, I can still preach and officiate at services of the Word, and I look forward to resuming these roles in the future, I have preached via recorded sermons over the lockdown, so I was still active by voice if nothing else.
Although, I suppose my work as editor of our parish magazine monthly, put out free via the internet and work on our facebook group and whatsapp group is ministry of a sort as I interact with so many people there. But the physical presence is what I really miss.
Care for my spouse takes priority, but she is now recovering fast and asserting her independence, hopefully even more as time will heal, much more than my ministering to her. She has the determination to get well and I hope and pray that she succeeds.
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