Christmas Past!

I seem to have gone backwards in my attitude to all this. Yesterdays brave words ended in several moments of bafflement at what I should be doing. Alone essentially I do have neighbours thankfully who I can talk to at times.....but I am the only one on my own...and I dont want to depend on them....The house nearest to me is being used as a holiday let despite the fact that its almost the end of the year...There are children there at the moment so the ex teacher in me is wondering why they are not in school? Usually I am quite good at minding my own business..but in this period of self isolation I suppose taking an interest in my nearest neighbours is natural...I have also been talking to old friends...and this usually makes me laugh...we are quite good at seeing the odd amusing detail. But essentially I am alone...no church, no carol singing....its no wonder that I have counted the bottles of booze here to reassure myself that Christmas could still be quite jolly...even on my own. I always go back to the time when my children were small and the joy of seeing them opening their parcels was a huge joy every year. But thats all history now and often painful. Getting through this period is a test. And I shall do it....but I am glad to have booked a few days in a hotel!