Solitary?

I have been awake for ages listening to the radio and willing myself to get out of bed! It does not help that its Sunday! There is one church open...actually its a chapel and very beautiful...but somehow I lack the resolution to get myself ready to go! The news is all depressing...outside the traffic on the road started very early...lots of people are going home I think. This will give many people some joy...we have been crowded out by people who came to Cornwall in stead of going abroad. I was told yesterday that they are now on the move! But the sun still shines...its truly glorious out there so I imagine more might be arriving to take their place! Here all is well...so why do I still hesitate to join in? I feel safe here on my own. And thats the depressing answer! I need to feel safe in a way I never have before! Becoming aware of all the dangers lurking out there has made me reluctant to be the woman I have always been till now! The old Jean would have just got on with everything regardless! But the new old Jean needs safety! I will have my shower, wash my hair, get dressed and get on with the solitary life! Someone might turn up! And if they do will I welcome them in? The need to be solitary is too strong! But I expect I would accomodate any changes if they occurred! So lets get on with it!