A Eulogy is a potent powerful gift to the deceased and to the congregation. It's what they are there for and why we do them. They are disclosing details of a life the congregation would never otherwise have known. Secrets are disclosed..they can no longer affect the person at the heart of them and often they enhance a reputation in an unexpected way. I remember well an occasion when a good friend had died and his daughter got up and told us that he had been born in Admiralty Arch or at least the flat over it when his father had been Chief Lord of the Admiralty (I apologise if thats not the right job) and we all gasped because he'd never told us any of that!
The saddest eulogies are when there is no one left to give you any information. The job then falls to the minister to glean what they can from the few people who had contact with them.
The glorious thing is when an old lady who no one knew anything about at all, turned out to be a war heroine. I did one for a lady who had held down a tough job during the war and had been honoured on her return to normal life but no one knew today..it was her solicitor who turned up the evidence.
I have been at funeral today of a man I was very fond of. When his wife died he insisted on getting up and talking about her even though his son had not wished him to. Today was the son's opportunity for revenge but he didn't take it. He paid tribute to his father's life, filling in some sketchy details with great effect and brought tears to my eyes at one point.
Sometimes my colleagues are not pleased at being asked do this, in a very busy week its one extra task we could do without. But it's the most important part of the service and the last thing you can do for someone who has left this life. Rest in Peace Dick and all the others who have risen in glory.
4 comments:
Jean, you are quite right about this. I sometimes wonder about Eulogies for people I had known well, which do not bring out the whole person they were.
A year or so ago, someone I had known over 20 years died. He had been a Christian, but at his funeral, his family chose a secular service.
The Eulogy delivered covered much of his life, his goodness, his work and how much he had been valued and would be missed, but nothing about his spiritual life and religious belief.
However, at the end of the service, the secular leader said, "and now we will recite the Lord's Prayer" I nearly fell of my seat. But was overjoyed that somehow, a Christian element had been included. Perhaps by his family or by a friend, but all of us there said if in a heart felt way.
I still wonder what brought this about, but unfortunately did not get the chance to speak to the family as they were whisked away quickly afterwards, and I was unable to attend the wake.
Another beautiful and poignant post. Thank you!
Yes, eulogies (or Tribute & Reflection as I opt to call them) are the moment when our 'art' flourishes, and greatest comfort can be offered. I always preface my comments that I won't be trying to tell them what they all know better than me, then I aim for a laugh and tears in equal measure. I think I do ok, and get lots of 'you got X just right, s/he would have loved that' - and all with a Christian message.
I think bloggers might be gifted in this facet of ministry - perhaps. For me, even at an early stage in ministry, I regard that moment of disclosure and hope filling as one of the most significant privileges of the work that I do.
When appropriate, they always like the line: 'I can't tell you what Heaven is like, as I have never been or because my job doesn't come with a visit to Head office' - but only when appropriate!
Thanks again Jean! Blessings aplenty - and to UKViewer, who doesn't follow my blog ;D
The eulogy at my husband's funeral was preented by a neighbour who had become a good friend over the years, and while it was of necessity, single-faceted, it was anecdotal, humerous and loving in content.
As no-one else felt able to speak, this and the
carefully presented and delivered reflections by
a priest who had only my sentiments to work on
resulted in a beautifully rounded and very comforting farewell to John.
I would never underestimate the value of a well-researched and caringly presented eulogy.
May you, and all those in your blessed line of work continue to support those who need and value your services.
My favourite this year was the old lady who left home st 21 against her father's wishes (he even summoned the vicar to ell her her duty was to stay at home) and went off to organizes Land Girls for half a county. She had to liase with a German officer POW about using his men as extra labour and ended up happily married to that officer until his death a few years ago.
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